Rainbow&Stars <body>
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My name is pink
But I love blue
My life is full of colours
I live over a rainbow
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I love candy
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I love everything !
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_The Past


Wednesday, July 05, 2006


For the past few days ..my feelings were dread , lonely,pitiful , cold , dead ..happiness had left me..felt what lost is like ..lost of direction..loss of the familiar me..loss control of emotions ..try my hardest to salvage everything..

lost of someone in my life. Someone that been with me for 17 years of my life and willingly and everlastingly love , care , guide , inspire , motivate , there for me ..had left me . She who had given me strength , courage had always been the one i look up to . someone that i can rely on. My grandma..walk out of this world in pain at 4.10 am 30 june . She had battle throughout all her life ..her stroke..hole in stomach and intestine..and fighting to feed the family. I don know y..god has to make her suffer through her life and even she had to battle and fight for her life before she dies..can she just let her go away peacefully?..y does god had to take her away from me so suddenly?.... i miss her..every time of my empty mind the strike of her..recalling the happy moments i'm with her..tracing back those memories...in the end ..i just have to bear to the fact that she's gone.. the house now seems so quiet now..

my family..my dad...called on my mum birthday just to tell her he wants a divorce. the excruciating pain she kept in her heart..I can feel it..although there are no tears ..i knew all her emotions just vanish..the inner lonelliness she felt , the shock she had ..no words could explain how she feels...I don know how to help her..all i wan to do is protect her..shield her from everything ..My mum told me to study hard..not just for myself ..but for yp...if i really wan to be with her..she ask me to love her for who she is ..her everything..mum I do. I do love her. Every single of her. She know i will but she just want to remind me..that loving a person is to love her and give her your everything , can do anything for her..that is really what true love is about..MUM I LOVE YOU. Thank for letting me be with her..thanks for everything you do...but to see you like this i don know what to do...i hope you are still strong to stand up and i will help you..the smiles of her nv seems to appear again..

yp..i hope to be your guadian angel through your life..even i cannot be with u..i really do..for the rest of my life..i'm stupid i know to speak up for someone that u don wan to but i really wish that u can find someone that really deserves you..that u think will love you for more then u love him..I just want to see you happy..even u don choose me ..u happy i happy..For me ..the pain will be alright..really will..guess i'm low confident that i don deserve someone like you.. for now..i will be her strength , her lending shoulder..I can't fall...or else she will fall...No matter what happens i will not give her and yp also cannot give up..

people seeing this i will be k ..i won't fall..maybe i will break down..maybe i will tear apart..let it be bah..see how things goes..bt for one thing ..I will try to be..be the one i had to be..to ..i don know..hope everything will be alright..

hongsheng wanders the sky in a a empty field

3:50 PM